God Damn You Chemistry

I try people. You know I try, but damn is Chemistry the worst, THE WORST, possible topic of existence on this planet earth. I can't do it; I just can't and it's totally the source of my forthcoming ruined future. Damn, I can't even tell my parents this or they'll freak out more than they ever have before in their lives, at least concerning grades. I officially have a C; no, you know what, I barely have a C.

There's only one thing left to do, or two I guess: Pray to God to give me the brains and strength to raise that on the edge of the cliff C to at least, AT LEAST, a mediocre B. Seriously, I'm doing that as we speak, or type I guess...

I've never had such a dangerous grade issue affect me this much before. I feel like I'm losing my mind, because for anyone who reads this, you know how ambitious I am, and the things I want to accomplish, and although many probably think I'm over-exaggerating, the way to go is get the best grades and get into a great college. I mean, this past year, I'm beginning to think it doesn't even matter that much what college you go to, just if you have the talent. People don't even go to college, and a number of them achieve their dreams and ambitions.

So you can see how much I hate that this horrible lame ass C is affecting me, when I wish it wouldn't so much. I hate that people expect a certain person from me, and the person I expect from myself, because I can be a lazy ass human being one day, and then most committed, ruthless human being the next day. I wish I could be both and work them both out cohesively into my life, because I like to be a lazy-ass: I get to watch T.V, for hours. It's part of a necessary daily routine.

I could tell you all these wishes that I have. About how I wish I could just watch T.V for the rest of my life, or how I wish school didn't have to be so lame, or how i wish chemistry didn't exist, or how i wish chemistry could rot in purgatory, but the deal we unknowingly make when we enter mother earth, is that we have to deal with life, and all the shit that comes with it. I try to remind myself everyday how crappy life is, and the only way I can make it through, is to deal with it, because if I don't tell myself I need to deal, "you gotta deal", I am going to crack.

Everything depends on so much, and it seems you can't ever let go of your reams for a freaking millisecond.

Sigh.

You want to know what the test was on?

Chemical Reactions, and other stuff. See, I can barely tell you what this test was on.

I don't know. I'm just really upset and frazzled over how it all turned out. My teachers don't prepare me well, and distracted myself way too much with Korean Dramas and music. The Korean Pop was too infectiously luscious, specifically CN Blue. (Search them up, they're actually pretty good.)

Anyways, the road ahead contains a lot of pathetic begging for extra credit, dealing with a stubborn, uncaring teacher (even though she's funny), and dealing with the rest of the shit life throws at me, because that is life's purpose. Yes.

I can do this. I know I can. I'm not bragging here. I'm just trying to encourage myself from getting out of a major ditch, and if my parents find out I fell so low, they'll drown me in it with their overflow of disappointment, and I just can't handle that. (What a lame analogy. Sorry, I never do analogies, so I thought I would try it out: Unsuccessful)

Don't worry, I'll be back, and shove my foot up chemistry's ass butt (Too many bad words- I'm not used to using so many at one time). Just wait.