Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Getting Back on Track With My Brain

These past three weeks, I've been having a pretty difficult time getting back, or coming to terms with the side of my brain that connects itself with my writing style and voice, mostly because it kind of went away for the past three weeks, and that was pretty terrifying once I found out. I was at a music camp, and just recently came back three days ago. And I found out this dangerous, disheartening, interesting thing about me. I can't write in unfamiliarity. I just can't.

I lived with a roomate, and from the beginning of my life it's always caused me paranoia having one other person in the same room with me watching me write. It's almost like disrupting all of my thoughts. Kind of life brain stuttering. I can't keep it under control.

So for a few weeks there, I wasn't able to write something that felt like I was writing it. I barely wrote a real sentence. I stopped thinking of ideas and basically stopped thinking, because at a new music camp, miles, states away from home, you're not thinking to much, but feeling, if you know what I mean. I was also worried about meeting new people, working with amazing musicians, getting along with my roomate. Luckily, it all worked out in the end, and I was able to get used to the place. I started to write more freely by the third week, once I got comfortable, but there was something inside me that still felt guarded, and I still felt like my brain was being choked from being itself.

And then I knew what I was missing. I was missing the roots of my life. My entire existence and my source of thoughts and myself. And that was my family. Yeah. I realized that I needed them to write. To write real stuff. I needed my home.

That's why I can NEVER, EVER write in public. The public is always a new unknown. I need a place I'm familiar with, people I'm familiar with to write, and even while I was away, I was completely unfamiliar with myself, because I was too shy to be myself in the first two weeks. I liked being alone. Plus there was a great view of the mountains and the rest of the little downtown city from my room.

The thing is, I'm just trying to slowly stumble my way through writing again. Thinking up ideas and understanding my opinions and all that stuff. These following blog entries are going to be more bad than usual, but it's going to help me find my writing again. It's going to inspire me again. It's going to make me feel myself again. I really need that now, because I'm more lost than usual these days, but being back home feels easily natural, so I think I'll be okay.

That's it for today.

Random thought of the day: Pears rhyme with bears.

The TIME Article that Disappointed

Today, I decided to go on TIME online. (And the following monstrosity is what came out of it)
It's not a new event in my life. I do have my own moments of trying intellectualism, but the thing is, today: I was disappointed.

And it's not even a good thing to be disappointed about, but oh it's going to be a blog entry.

So as I was rolling my eyes through the screen, I stumble upon an article titled, "The Problem With Celebrities Who Tell Us How To Live".

Now, every human makes first thought judgement instinctively, it can't be helped, but it can be put aside. So when I read that title, I was thinking, "WTF. The problem with celebrities telling us how to live is that they even think they should be telling us how to live, because the average human life no longer coincides with the glitz and terror of the average celebrity life. We are no longer EQUAAAAALS."

Yeah. But that's not exactly the case. That's not the case at all. Maybe there is just no case...because I forgot it at home, now I'm going to miss my plane just to go back and get it, and then get fired, and then the world will en---OKAY, that's enough, back to the point.

Again, the article title was "The Problem With Celebreties Who Tell Us How To Live". Perhaps the entire article should have stopped there and we all could have our own little inner bursts of rage.

See, when I think of a celebrity, I think of the haunting trails of paparazzi, the endless Loreal Shampoo commercials, the rejuvenated, perfect skin, diamond shiny faces of Gwenyth Paltrow, Jennifer Lopez, Mario Lopez, Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato, all those boring people, plus the added flash of the cameras. Can't have a celebrity without the cameras am I right?

I mean, why do they think they want to suggest life mantras to us, when their life is just not like ours anymore. They live in a world of constant attention, required beauty, weekly haircuts, flashing cameras.

Every time I see a celebrity cook book, I think, "What is this life? Why the freak do I want Gwenyth Paltrow telling me how to eat? I can do whatever I want hoe and eat a freaking cornbread if I WANT TO.

When I started reading the TIME article, it went into this statistical rant that just wasn't what I was looking for. I was looking for pointless rant regarding the difference between the everyday person's life, and a celebrities life.

The thing about celebrities, is that they go out and get themselves branded a celebrity, or are forced into becoming a celebrity because of whatever reason. Why can't they just be really great actors, or musicians, or singers.

Another thing that confuses me, is the fact that some of these celebrities by the most expensive, bat-shit crazy huge houses on the planet, and then the next day go to charity event for cancer, or some third world country.

But what I don't understand most is when they say things like, "Live life to the fullest". I'm living my life sir, to it's fullest current capability of breath, okay? Also, you're a hoe. Just kidding...

I respect and admire a lot of known people, for the beautiful stories that they tell, the music that they make, the stands that they advocate for. I don't respect the celebrity life, because that's not really in the range of what it's like to have goals, or what's it's like to have doubts or insecurities anymore. That life mainly concentrates on good shampoo and rejuvenating creams, and parties, and also required make-up always, wish is a definite no-no. It doesn't seem like a nice life, even though it's made out to be. It seems fake, so that's really the problem with celebrities telling us how to live our lives. Because they're own lives are just not real anymore, as sad as that is to say. When one reaching that point, or even feeling in life, the feeling of a celebrity, it's hard to return back to the ground because your head can get so big with the attention you're just way too high up off the ground. I see that in a lot of girls and guys at my school, who really believe that they are better than everyone else just because they have a seemingly pretty face and a group of people to hang out with on the weekend. Except they're not that pretty and the people they hang out with are lame, at least in my opinion.

The good thing is, they're aren't really that many celebrities anymore these days, or ones that I know about, because people who reach high levels of fame don't want that life. Who would?

I don't want to come across as envious of this life, because honestly I would think celebrities would be envious of our lives. We have so much more of a challenge controlling our weights, reaching our goals, discovering what we want, going through constant doubt and insecurity. As terrible as this life is, it's freaking amazing, loving something with complete sincerity and accomplishing things not for attention, but for the love of creating something new to add into this world. Can you imagine Kim K telling me to work hard and accomplish my dreams? No.

I don't think anyone could stand being a celebrity forever. It looks tiring, annoying, and pointless. Actors don't become actors to become famous, at least the real good ones. Musicians don't become musicians to become super famous. I mean, people always want to be recognized, sure, not all people, but most want to be recognized for doing the work that they love and sharing it with others. And a few get that deserved recognition, because they worked for it, and they had the talent for it.

I'm kind of done with this topic though. Seriously, I find no point anymore in even talking about celebrities. Why did I in the first place...I don't know.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

TCWT July Blog Chain: The Lame Origin of My Writing Life

Oh man. I'm hours late on writing this, but technically, it's still the 13th...but still, there's no excuses. Anyways, this prompt for this months blog chain is so, so, so...I don't know. My writing journey beginnings are so lame and artificial, because at first, the only reason I wanted to be a writer was because I got really good grades on all my structural exam essays in elementary school. And then once high school started all those ambitious accomplishments of getting the best grades on all my essays went down the drain, because high school writing apparently does not go along well with my writing style. Oh, by the way, the prompt is as follows:

“What’s one thing you wish you knew when you started writing?” 

Yeah, so as I said before, my journey as a writer truly, phenomenally started the moment I got that perfect 4 on my fourth grade essay about a park that I apparently really really liked. The passionate origins, am I right? 

Yeah, well, I was mega lame then (still am) and had no idea how to really think or feel with both my brain and my heart or what made up the world and the impact writers made to the world. To be fair, I was in elementary school, and all you're trying to do in elementary school is be a kid and have fun. Even breathing isn't a priority because in elementary school you don't quite have that monumental realization of the significance breathing oxygen into your very lungs is to your life. And then my dad taught me about success, and Harvard, and goals, and a future, and then little young me became obsessed with being the smartest, bestest, straight A's kid in class. So when I figured out that writing was my most likely available leeway into success, at the age of 9, yes 9, I decided I would become a writer, ONLY because I got that perfect score on that one elementary school essay. 

Besides all that mumble jumbo above, the POINT that I'm trying to make is, that I wish I knew, or acknowledged what writing made me feel, and the impact it made in my life, and the impact it could make in others. In other words, I wish I knew that I loved writing when I starting writing, rather than thinking I only loved writing because my fourth grade teacher said I was a good writer...on one essay... about the stereotypical park around the corner. 

Actually, I really loved that park, and it wasn't around the corner. It was in downtown Austin; comparable to the greatest sections of Central Park. So, before I even realized it, writing and stories and words and thoughts, all that mesmorizing confusing stuff meant so much to me, but I never really thought about that when I first started writing. 

And I guess that because when you first start to write, it almost comes instinctively, so there's no time to think about how much it really means to you, or how huge a part it will become of your life. And then you enter the deep dark horridly revolutionary stages of teenage-hood, where you actually start to develop an independent, opinionated brain capable of making both stupid and not so stupid decisions, and you realize, writing is the most insanely freeing, awesome, LEGEND-wait for it-DARY thing ever, because now you come to terms with weirdness. You come to terms with reality a little but more, and you come to terms with failure, success, love, bad things, good things, human feelings, and you realize that writing, or really, storytelling, is how you express all that, AKA the feels. 

So yeah, I wish I knew what writing meant to me earlier. What I do like to look back on are the glimpses of moments where I'm at my desk, writing in my own  little notebook, 6 years young, about whatever I was thinking, because I realized that I could do that. When you begin writing, it's really all a series of scenes that go kind of like this:

Brain: "I'm feeling something weird right now. And I really want to do something with that. Hey! Look, there's a pencil and paper. Now putting thoughts on paper, because I can."
(Minutes later)
Brain: "I like this thing. I think I want to keep on putting words on paper, with a pen or pencil.....forever. Because I can."

I like writing. It makes me feel human again. I don't do well in real life as a functioning human being when I take unintended hiatuses from writing. Like, if I go one day without writing something, I don't even know what life is and try my best to maintain a sort of composure that is socially acceptable among the human race. Keeping it all inside doesn't work for me. I don't think it works for anyone. Even God can't hold all the feels inside, and as a result came: The Bible. God/Jesus: Probably the most famous writers/storytellers ever. And then Shakespeare. 

I'm going off topic. Sorry. But I think I got the message through...maybe. I don't know. The thing is, I know and understand what writing means to me now, and that's a good thing.

Check out all the other blogs this month. They're probably most likely a lot cooler.

July 2014 blog chain prompt/schedule:
Prompt: “What’s one thing you wish you knew when you started writing?” 
24th – – The topic for August’s blog chain will be announced.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

World Cup Woes........

I got to say.
I've never experienced a more intense, excruciatingly painful, inspiring, disheartening, WORLD CUP.

But I guess it's because I feel like I actually understand just how much this world cup means to these soccer players, and watching The U.S national team playing, becoming familiar with the players representing my country, it's a little overwhelming. Especially sitting around the living room, with my mom and dad, my sister, even my dog, all anxiously waiting for that one legendary moment of ecstasy that comes from watching the United States score a goal.

It's awesomely beautiful.

I mean, it's really weird for me to say, and speak so passionately about soccer, because I'm not an athletic type person, but in the heat of the moment, competition drives me to destructive emotions. It's kind of fun actually, feeling so jumpy, because I don't get so excited about any other sport like I do watching soccer. I think if the U.S wins, or even makes it close to the finals, I might cry.

I mean, it's neat to feel like your part of a country who's at the World Cup, and who most did not even expect would do so well, but they have!

Still, I wish they won today against Germany. It would have been awesome. I really can't wait until the next game with the U.S. I mean, literally, my insides are going a little crazy just to watch the next game, and they haven't even announced the team they'll be playing with.

But also, I want to say, I love screaming at my T.V. It's fun and something I never do, except of course, when watching soccer, but mostly when watching the U.S play.

I usually yell about Bradley, who makes me mad and makes me question his spot on the U.S team, and them praise Beasley some more because he's cool and fast. He probably impresses me the most on the team. Also Dempsey. It's so weird that I actually now they're names now. I spent 30 minutes to possibly, hopefully not, one hour of my day Monday researching about the FIFA world cup. Not good. AHHHHHH. I have so much to get ready for but the World Cup is seriously distracting.

Okay, I think I got my feelings about the World Cup, or really the US soccer team, out of my system now. I feel better. Yes, yes I do. But I still wish won or at least tied against Germany today. Oh, and Howard, the goalie, is the bomb, even though he missed that one goal, BARELY, that came suddenly after he hit another goal. Seriously, cred's to him. Probably the best one on the team.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Is it Okay to Fangirl Excessively for an entire day? Because that's what happened everyday this week

Fangirl object/creation of desire NUMBER 1:

The 100
YES. This has officially become as of late one of my favorite and exciting shows right now. I mean, it's not a show that inspires me or one that I actually think is brilliant, but this show is really intriguing and exciting, and it just wins me over every single episode. Important to note, it's set in a post apocalyptic Earth and space, and starts out by sending 100 teenagers back to earth from a space center, well, in space. And to be honest, a lot of my desire for this show relies on Jasper, played by the awesome Devon Bostick, and Monty, played by Christopher Larking, courtesy of IMDB of course. But I like Larkin, and I like Monty, a lot. There so cute, and they bring out the best parts of the show to me. Clearly you can tell the type of characters I favor in shows like these. BUT, let's not forget the beautiful, beautiful Bellamy. Everytime this human being comes on screen, you have to look at him. So nice looking. It's too much. Here are some more wonderful GIF's:
Beautiful. Notice Monty creeping up in the background. Entertaining. 

The only bad, kind of horrifying part about this show...The mutated animals that kind of have two heads, but really have one and a half head, that unpleasantly appear on the screen. Pretty scarring. 

Other than that, this show is pretty fangirl worthy my friends. More than that to be honest. It's a decent show that I'll actually be watching next season on TV. Yeah, that's right. The TV that nobody uses anymore because of Netflix, because Netflix is better, more importantly, without commercials. I don't even know what commercials are anymore. The Perks of Being a Netflix Subscriber. 
There needs to be a blog posts about that. Also The Disadvantages of Being a Netflix Subscriber.

I need to appreciate fangirling a little more. It's a natural human instinct/guilty pleasure I can't help but express in some way. I'll try to limit it though, and hopefully post more quality rants/stuff. Maybe. Unfortunately, you will be experiencing my K-pop fangirling entry one day. I promise you; it will happen. 

Weird Letters to My Sister

So, for some reason, at 2 in the morning, I decided to start writing fictional letters to my non-fictional, AKA real, sister in the case that we had never seen each other face to face, yet we live directly across from each other, but lived in a household with insane parents who forever forbid us from having any connection with each other. Supposedly, we both have schedules from when we can leave our room and when we have to stay inside, because if not, our parents would murder us. Just kidding. But for some reason this story/idea popped into my head, even though it sounds really bad and incomplete, I think I might continue writing it, but better. Yes, better. But it still won't be good, but I'll enjoy writing it anyways. I didn't write out the full names quite yet. Don't know if I'm ready to release my real name just yet. Maybe in 5 years. Kidding. I will discreetly add it into one of my blog entries though...maybe.
Day 100

Dear Ari,
Ernest Hemingway said one should write in the earliest of mornings, from 6:00 AM to noon; a total of six hours. How about from 12:00 AM to 6:00 AM. That shouldn’t be so bad.
No. Impossible.
The parents won’t let me do that.
Have you ever noticed how parents are like the law of the household, and we are the citizens. The very small population of citizens… It’s like the parents are walking, talking books of law roaming suspiciously around the house, except they have nothing on the legendary-ness of the U.S Constitution, because at least the Constitution has human rights, you know?
There’s no way out of this hellhole friend.
At least we have each other…kind of?


Day 102

Dear Ari,

Do you think the parents will ever let us meet?
Remember in my last letter, when I said we have each other, but only kind of? I don’t really have your human body with me, that’s being literal, but I do have your thoughts, you know? And it’s the brain that really makes up the human being, not the actual body. The body is just a way for humans to communicate.
To be honest, I think if God had just created us as walking brains, we would have developed some form of telekinesis, and we wouldn’t have any insecurity, cause then we’d all be fugly, and looks wouldn’t matter so much anymore, because we would be, well, brains with legs; walking brains. Life would be good that way.
I still wish I could see your face, so then your brain could be closer to mine and I could feel your thoughts, instead of just reading them and hearing them in my head. But to be honest, I can feel them, roaming the vast dusty emptiness in my brain, and its nice, because I don’t really have anyone else to talk to.

You know what this reminds me of? You’ve got Mail. The movie with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan and that dog. I never understood the importance of that dog’s role in the movie. It’s kind of useless, but then again, why not add in the most adorable dog known to movie screens everywhere other than Lassie? I don’t think people gave enough credit to the dog’s adorableness. It makes me sad. I guess that’s all I have in my head right now add all I feel like writing. Sorry for the never-ending lack of entertainment. I’ll try to write better letters to you. But for some reason I’m not feeling anything today. I’m a human, I can’t help the unconscientious vacant feeling of nothing. Bam. Now there’s a quality sentence. Maybe not. Can you tell how insecure and indecisive I am yet? Because I am.


I like Wordpress Now Better Blogger...Sorry Not Sorry

Get ready for some senseless, worthless A-class blogging.

So, a few days ago, I spent too much time creating a Wordpress blog, and this time, I finally knew what the heck I was doing. My background is awesome. A lot better than the flashing curved lines designing this less than favorable blog theme.

It's kind of stupid really.

Not the blog theme, because I actually kind of still like my Blogger theme of colorful curvy lines, but what's stupid is the fact that I care a little to much about the blog design. But looking at it in a certain way, it can be an important asset in the feel and character of your blog. I don't know. I want to relate to the blog theme, as terrible as that sounds and is to say. I want a theme or background that fits me, that makes me feel joyful inside for certain reasons.

So let me show you my freaking awesome Wordpress background for those of you that don't care at all:

Pretty awesome right. Maybe not for you, but every time I look at it I feel like I created a masterpiece, but that's not true. It's just seeing so much awesomeness at one time overwhelms me. Like Comic Con does to any proper human being. 

I might try to make this my background on Blogger, because to be sincere, I will always feel more comfortable with my sweet blogger than my secondhand Wordpress. It's like they're both my spawn/children, and Blogger's my favorite. Unfit motherhood is the way to go. Not really. Well then, I guess I'm done talking about senseless background themes, and I shall see you all in a new dawn my friends. 

Random Statement of the Day: I wish I was half Vulcan, like Spock. That would be a beautifully complicated life. I also wish I was J.J Abrams. 

Thursday, June 12, 2014

TCWT June Blog Chain: Movies and Books

Okay, so when I started trying to write this, it just sounded really confused and fake, because my brain is kind of really boggled and confused right now unfortunately, a side-effect of being a  teenager, you know, so to forewarn, this is probably not going to be good, but I do have something to say about this, so I'll do my best.

SO, escaping that above awkwardness, this months Teens Can Write Too Blog Chain Prompt:
“What are your thoughts on book-to-movie adaptions? Would you one day want your book made into a movie, or probably not?”

A lot of the time, I say I don't really care about the common strictness between movie to book adaptions, that a number of people relentlessly examine, that much. I used to think that in the end, the director will always have a different way of looking at a story than every other reader of the book or story will, (although I don't quite understand what the director of the Percy Jackson movies was thinking.) and as long as I personally enjoyed the movie itself, I left the movie theater happy. 

But lately, I've been thinking about it more and more, and I imagined myself in the position where my book would be made into a movie. 

So after seeing The Fault in Our Stars this past week, and looking back at all the book to movie adaptions I've experience, the single most important thing to me when a book is being made into a movie is for the movie to capture what I felt reading the book. To find something there, in a scene that tells me and makes me feel that the director and I shared some feeling of wonder, or sadness, or angst, or whatever jumble of feelings us humans are capable of feeling in a story. 

I mean, to me, I don't care if the book wasn't EXACTLY like the movie, or if some scene was missing a certain color scheme described in the book, or god forbid, the actor playing a character didn't have the same hair color as described in the book. Oh, the atrocities are endless!

Yeah, I don't really care. As long as the movie found and portrayed the point of the entire story or book, and  truthfully portrayed the characters as they are in the book, I'm pretty satisfied. It's a difficult thing to accomplish to capture the feel of the book, and finding the right people who really understand the story. 

The truth is, I haven't really experienced that many book to movie adaptions, so I may not be all that credited for this kind of topic, but either way, it's a really amazing thing to see characters and stories go from being on paper, to living inside your brain, to being on a wide screen movie theater. 

I mean, personally, that would be freaking awesome, and I'd probably pull a John Green on set crying 24/7 seeing my book come to life with amazing people. 

(Can you tell how much I appreciated The Fault in Our Stars movie and the people who made it yet? Because I really liked it. I really like it a lot.)

Yeah, so I guess that's it for now! Maybe when my brain is less boggled I'll be able to organize my brain thoughts more. ANYWAYS, here are the rest of the TCWT blogs coming up the rest of the month. Check it out yo:

28th – – The topic for July’s blog chain will be announced.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

My "Wow, I'm really growing up now and it's kind of freaking crazy" song

This is not MY song. No, I could never make a song this beautiful. But when I'm feeling really young, and really old and lost all at the same time, this song brings up some nostalgic, melancholy, bittersweet feelings.
I just think it really describes what growing up, or coming of age really feels like, by someone who's going through it themselves.

The song is called The Way It Seems by Alex Wolff. I've been a fan of Nat and Alex Wolff ever since I watched them obsessively on the awesome show The Naked Brothers Band, and it's really weird to listen and see them and their music change, because it means I'm changing, and growing up too! And it's just kind of crazy. But anyways, this song is really good, and it has a lot of meaning to me, as cheesy as that sounds.
(Skip to 0:20 to the beginning of the song)

The Jitters..the chills

You know when those sites, that primarily focus on Entertainment and are created with terrible graphics attempting to look professional, but never will and basically run on the worst ad's ever?

Yeah, well, I went on one today, and I was disgusted. DISGUSTED, and I feel the need to talk about it or else I'll have the chills the rest of my life it was that bad.

So a lot of the times they have health adds about some unrealistic, fake infection or disease one may have and they have the key to solving all your problems with some revolutionary pill or whatever...and to finish all that bullshit crap, they put the gory, atrocious picture of the infection or disease just to ruin people's lives.

If I had just not accidentally scrolled down one little inch, my life would be so much brighter now, but no, I had to see...what I had to see.

Now my face has chills everywhere and I'm kind of itchy in my arms and face, and I'm sold.

Side effects of unnecessary ad atrocities, you know?

I'm sorry if I brought back old memories of some of the worst things you've ever seen in your life due to ad's, but I thought writing this would make me feel more human again, but I think I may be scarred for life.

My advice to you. Never, NEVER look at the ad's at the bottom of an article that is part of a cheap, gossip, unprofessional looking website.

I feel like throwing up. I think I may even have to talk to my parents about this. (I'm kind of joking and kind of being serious at the same time).

So I think I'm going to write a little more and then practice violin. Yep, that's good.

Sometimes I Forget How to Work the Human Brain Inside My Head

So, lately, these past few days have been pretty dry up in the old human brain, cerebrum, whatever you wanna call it, up there inside my head.

It's not been a pretty feeling guys. I feel empty. It's kind of like when your brain empty, then everything else in your body and in your life feels empty. And empty is scary.

My brain, as of late, is like a vast, dry, whistling air piece of deserted land that you can only hope will suddenly become a scene of cowboys and trotting neighing horses in the blurry distance, and then...WAIT FOR IT......CLINT EASTWOOD'S FACE AND PONCHO APPEAR IN CLOSE-UP, and at last your brain is where it's meant to be. Because where there is a Clint with a poncho, there is a story.

But actually after that little splurge of imagination, my brain feels good, at least a little bit.

So my problem these past few weeks have been working creatively with my mind, or brain, as I like to call it. I feel like there is this lack-luster in everything that I think, or do, but the thing is, it feels that way because I'm not taking advantage of all my thoughts and ideas the way I always wish I would.

And it's always, always about fear. I hate it.

I never think I'm goof enough, or capable enough to write a compelling, good nurtured, god forbid insightful story- but I don't even give myself the chance to write one!

I mean, very few times I've managed to escape that relentless brick wall of fear that's constantly in front of me through the tiniest of cracks and minor holes, but once I get through it, I whole new set of fresh air sets itself in, and it's the most beautiful feeling in the world.

I become kind of sad when I don't write. Depressed even- and when that happens, my brain basically feels empty. I mean, there should literally be a VACANT sign over my forehead to signifying the solemness of my brain. It's so dramatic! There's never been a tale of more woe! Oh, goodness.   

Italics means sarcasm. I mean, it feels way too overly dramatic, speaking of my brain in terms of solemness, but that's just how it feels; and where else to put it put in an obscure pointless blog, you know?

The bad thing about a solemn brain, is the fact that it's kind of connected to your heart. I mean your metaphorical heart that your brain tricks you into believing is your source of feeling inside your chest. When I'm hurting, or feeling something, I always feel something right in the middle of my throat or right in the middle of my chest, near my heart, because I think my brain wants me to think that the beating blood chamber, AKA my hear, inside my chest is my source of feeling. Scientifically, I don't think it is, but Un--or not scientifically... there must be some connection between the brain and the heart. The heart is to revolutionary infamous not to have some great, deep, dramatically soulful secret behind it.

So what I'm trying to say here is, my heart feels void of creativity and writing and stories as well. I guess one would call all this writer's block, but there's no way writer's block is real, okay? okay. I mean, I'm writing right now aren't I,?

Anytime that I write, any words, any feelings that have long since reached the point of redundancy in my life, it feels good. It feels really good, and liberating, and fresh, and a whole much of stuff.

So I think I'm gonna write some more.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

The Perfection Of Humans

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Well, I've been thinking about this for a long time, and I guess now I have something to say about it.

So, you know that floating worldwide phrase that everyone is aware of, that is constantly in the back of everyone's mind?

You know, that "nobody's perfect."

I mean, it must be legit, yes? Hannah Montana made a song about it people, and nobody can contradict that wisdom. (Please understand my sarcasm.)

Well, I disagree with that phrase, or ideal, or whatever it is.

I seriously believe that every human being on this planet is absolute perfection.

This blog post is not an entry of optimism or encouragement or "Life is good" type of stuff. So don't expect to learn an uplifting life lesson here, because that's just not going to happen.

So why, you ask, is every single human being on this planet undeniably perfect?

Throughout history, the human race as a whole has slowly surmounted in creating this definition or portrayal of the overall human. The way humans think, act, proceed, eat, feel, and the other diverse plethora of shit humans are capable of that is way too long to actually list. For the past few centuries initiated at the origin of the human race, we have unintentionally defined humans with the leaders, terrorists, fascists, storytellers, philosophers, warriors, and weaklings of our history. Basically an entirety of flaws and prosperity. Through the likes of Hillary Clinton, John F. Kennedy, George Washington, Gandhi, Henry David Thoreau, Aristotle, the billions of criminals, the billions of storytellers, the billions of artists and engineers and discriminators and racists.

It's a history that has defined the human race as a whole. Flawed. I mean, Kennedy said some great things, but was also a cheater. President Wilson was super racist. Gandhi was known for being way too vicious towards people, directly telling them that he did not "mind or care" if them or their families died. George Washington hated intermixing with the lower class and had an extremely bad temper. He even asked to change the limited 39 lashes for punishment to 500. I mean, you're never told of these sides of these famously praised human beings. Why? It's part of the human nature, and the human definition. Flawed. These people did so many great things for our nation, for our entire world, but in the end, they were human beings. And where there is a human, there is a flaw.

And ultimately, the fact that each and every one of us has some type of insecurity or evil, or impatience that make up our human faults, makes human's perfect. If a human had absolutely no flaws, they wouldn't be human, you know?

Here is the actual definition of perfect:
  1. 1.
    having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be.
    "she strove to be the perfect wife"

  2. 2.
    absolute; complete (used for emphasis).

So the fact of the matter is, flaws, the bad things that human beings do, are part of our humanity. Our flaws complete a perfect human, because if you are an actual human being, you have flaws. There's no other way around it. A flawed human is a perfect human, cause that is just how we're made out to be guys. Like the above definition describes, flaws are the required elements or characteristics that make up a human. 

So never believe you are not perfect, even if you're the worst person in the world, because in the end you are part of the human race making human history. Say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing, do the right thing. You are a human being that thinks, that feels, that cries, yells, laughs, makes mistakes, and everything else. 

I know this whole thing is incredibly contradicting, because an exact synonym for flaw is imperfection, but history itself has showed us what the human being is or not is. I don't mean to define you as an individual, because that's impossible and that is something only you have the right to figure out. I'm talking about the overall human depiction. 

But do keep in mind that the best of humans are preferable in this world, but remember they have their flaws too, and we already know what flaws mean, because I've repeated it so many times it is now incredibly redundant. 

Oh, and I'm perfect, and so are you. Wow that's really cheesy, but you know what I mean. 

*Added later*- I do have to say though, if someone were to ask me a question like, "So you're saying horrible people like terrorists are perfect?", I would hate more than anything to say yes to that question, but they're part of the culminating aspect of what makes up our both terrible and amazing human race. Even so, I have my limits. They're not perfect at all and they are fucking terrible. But I guess technically, the fact that they are so terrible makes them human, you know? Understand that the human race is a terrible and amazing group of beings, and essentially that terribleness and that greatness is what makes the human definition, and therefore, the human, a perfect human. 

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

I Attempted...ATTEMPTED to write an X-Men Days of Future Past review

Yeah, so I attempted to write an X-Men Days of Future Past review, and it totally sucked. TOTALLY SUCKED. Good lord, I hate writing movie reviews the way they're supposed to be written. I mean, you're required to give a lenghty, critical background on the story when honestly sometimes I may not remember all of it. Seriously, sometimes I don't even remember the names of characters in the movie.

But what I do remember is what a movie made me feel, and what parts of the movie made me feel that way or think in a way I've never thought of, or freaking inspired me, or made me laugh cry, etc.

That's probably one of the worst things/aspects about writing movie review. You gotta tell the people the technical aspects of it (I mean, come on, there's trailer's for that, am I right?) and sometimes you are expected to go into extreme detail about certain negative points in the movie, or the good or bad way a scene was shot or whatever.

I mean, what happened to what watching a film really meant guys?

Films are meant to make you feel something, think something, create something. And there they are, those malignant, strict, movie critics focusing too much on the logistic negatives instead of actually letting themselves enjoy a film for what it is. Let the movie make you feel something, even if it's a terrible movie, you'll feel something and you'll learn something and think something.

Don't get me wrong. I respect film critics, a lot. Roger Ebert people: enough said. But I wish movie reviews could just stop being so structured, and instead become a type of writing that can move people, that can really convince them that a certain movie is worth watching, is worth learning something from, is worth making you feel something, and other movies not so worth it and more like a waste of your time.

I want to know about how insane a character made you feel, or how you related to them, and how millions more all over the world could relate to them. I want to know what I can learn and what new ways I could think or view the world in watching this movie. Movies are single-handedly one of the most precious subjects for human connection and feeling. And in the end, those are exactly the types of things we need to be writing about in movie reviews, because that is what a movie, at its core, is mean to give to us humans.

So let's stop being so technical about it. Just watch the movie, let yourself enjoy it or not enjoy it, but when writing a movie review, tell us what we can gain from it as growing human beings. Laughter, a point of view, an inspiration, whatever.

One last thing. Movies are freakin' amazing, expect when they're not and when they are terrible and fill an unnecessary void in this world, such as these ones in the link below:

I honestly hope to god for your human sake you haven't watched these movies or will watch them again.