Anyways, I think I have three things I want to talk about today...Mmm, maybe four, but I'll probably talk about that in another post.
ANYWAYS.
First things first, time for world news
Someone, on this earth, has recieved a 10.31 GPA, and is eighteen years old, right here in dandy old Florida. I guess we are good for something. Just kidding, FL's nice, kind of. But yeah, that's what I heard today. Honestly, I wasn't aware anything higher than a 4.9 GPA even existed, so when my mom comes up to me and tells me this shit(in the good way), I'm like, "WOAH! That doesn't even exist Mami. Impossible. No. Just no."
And then she shows me the computer screen, and BAM!
There it is. A 10.31 GPA earned by an Indian looking girl/woman (you never know when that transition of maturity happens, even in the smartest of people) that apparently took a total of 17 AP classes and other classes at Community College. It's actually kind of freaking awesome. She's going to be freaking awesome.
Thing is, when my mom was like, "See, I told you." after I saw it, you could totally tell she was saying, "Now you need to get a 10.31 GPA. Why don't you have one already (my name)?!". Expectations, expectations.
Here's a lesson people. Never expect anything from anyone. Not even yourself. But of course as humans we can't do that, so we will expect.
Second set of useless information I want to tell you about. I have a violin recital tomorrow, standing on the stage...... ALL BY MYSELF.
I mean, it's not my first time, it's my second time. Yeah, not that much experience. I definetely think I'm less nervous this time, but the fact that I'm writing this tells me that I may have a little internal freak out tomorrow, or I'll remain calm. I didn't practice that much for it, mostly because I had a lot of things happening (test, HW) to me this week, so time is not on my side, but I think I sound decent. Luckily, I don't care or am not so scared about how bad or good I sound, I'm just excited to play, because I really love this song I'm playing. It's really frakkin' awesome. My confidence is improving I think. At school, when I'm walking in the halls, I feel vulnerable but then something happens to me and then I'm standing tall and proud and I'm like, "Fuck these people. I'm awesome". Over the past few weeks, I've made some videos and participated in them for my TV Broadcast class that was shown to the entire school, so times were sensitive in the beginning, but I realized I didn't want to quit making videos, because I loved. I LOVED IT, and if other people didn't like my video, oh fucking well. My teacher says something about high school is where you should make all your second hand stuff, the place you should make all your worst mistakes, and learn from them before going out into the professional world, so that way you're freaking awesome after high school. So as much as it is embarrassing to show my face to the whole school, I'm more confident because I won't stop showing my face, as okay looking as it is.
I was in this commercial the other day about sleeping, because my friend needed an actor, so I helped her out, and later in the day when her commercial finally showed (a commercial that she was not in), someone assumed it was mine and told me to my face, "Your commercial this morning was boring and awkward...and that's just being frank." Course', I knew this guy, and his like a freaking alien people, but I still felt bad when he said that, even though I respected him for his flat out honesty, because seriously people, NOBODY does that, all I could think about saying back to him was "Fuck you.", because what do you say to that? It wasn't even my commercial. But yeah, I'm actually done talking about this, because I don't want to care about it anymore. I don't think I do, but I do want to remember it.
I want to remember that if other people can say shit without thinking through it first, why can't I?
I mean, I'll consider people's feelings. But I don't want to stay quite. I want to have a say in people's thoughts. I want to communicate and learn from other people, whether there stupid or not, but I don't want to be friends with them. The majority of the people at my school are just no....just no. Except one person, who I talk to everyday about whatever and she talks about whatever. I like to think of her as my best friend, but we still don't do things that best friends do, like hang out a lot and go over to each other's houses, but she is the best friend that I have ever had out of all of my friends. Along with this other girl from middle school that I wish I stayed in touch with. Everyone else, stupid. I hate pretending to like people.
Oh, and the third thing. I forgot it, but guys, I just want to tell you. I'm going to start a Youtube channel, and a website, and go to college, and be a strong person, and that's not an expectation. That's just pure knowledge.
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